-Simple And Clean- Journal 8: The Time I Long For, Entrust It To Me For I Promise You It Will
Not Take Me A Lifetime To Change.
Grrr, super lazy to blog la. Haha, whatever.. Tired, feeling crappy, exhausted like not enough sleep, random thoughts, thinking back, crazy plans. This is what I have been having these last few days. Sleep quite alot also no use, wake up le still very very tired... Seems like I'm getting weaker day by day. Where is the strength! Where is the power. I may need "something", that "something" that can help me tide myself through. Maybe that "something" was never meant to be found, or maybe it was. I am not sure either. I don't even know what that something is. Guess it's just a mystery, it happened to be and it will always be.
Blog abit only ba, 15 mins more going cafe le. Don't even have the strength to go la, and don't even feel like going. But nvm ba, since I promise Frankie to open the cafe everyday. Den I guess I should honour my words. Ya, those who saw my MSN nick, should have known that I am now abit broke le. Haha, cause yesterday spent quite alot of money la. After cafe closed, Frankie brought me along to fetch Mindy, saying he wants to cut "Mao" means hair la. Haha, don't anyhow think ya. Lols. He ask me want to cut anot, cos honestly la. My hair grow damn fast la. Cut liao afew weeks grow back again. zzz crappy hair. But in the end, I really did cut. Now alot more shorter ba, as in thickness gone, dunno. People told me this one neater la. I don't know, you see it urself den u make a judgement ba. Haha. Ya, at the saloon was Frankie's friend actually. She is a mother of 2 childrens. They went church too. It was Adam and Eve. But I didn't get to see them before. Maybe next time ba. So we had quite a talk in the saloon. Lots of random QnAs lol. Then, Frankie's friend introduce me a girl call Zhiwen. She's same age as me. Studies alot alot, Frankie's friend was actually her aunt la. Now den I know. Haha. Hmm, What can I say. This girl eh dun really know about her. But maybe next time can get to know more. Her aunt keep telling me aboutt her, saying she very anti-social one, saying she only study day and night, no friends one. Hmm, that's very weird, but interesting ya lol. Den her aunt keep encouraging her to go church, so ask me this sunday free anot... =.= ya expected. lol. Ok have to bring her to church this sunday, she still haven't confirm but I really hope she comes cos I guess church is the only place where she can really relax and put her mind at ease. Cos I can see that she's been having lots of stress, pressure lately. Eh, so those reading this who is going to church this sunday! Listen up! Please help me!! =x Hahahaha. Go forth yourself to introduce yourself hor. Cause I also quite new, dunno how to intro also, I guess when I'm talking to her, I would also be shy la. Haha. Maybe that's my fear all along. lol. Time to change it, but takes time right? Give me the time I need, for I know this will not last a lifetime. =)
After that, Frankie fetch me home, but I went to Causeway Point la. Guess nobody knew. Haha. Always alone walking around like a zombie lol. But nvm la. I am used to it. Guess it will always be like this. Doesn't matter, I am more used to this lifestyle. Not bad also, saw alot of nice things, including books, songs, puzzles. Oh ya, who wants to build up a 1000 pieces of jigzaw puzzle with me? Haha, I am looking forward to build one, I saw one very nice 1. About Kingdom Hearts also. Including every characters of the disney world. Example Winnie the Pooh, Mickey, Donald Duck and more etc. But 1000 really no joke la. I only did one 300 pieces before. Quite tiring le. Haha. This is my challenge now, those who wants to build it up with me, bring forth yourself ya. I will need your help. So don't be shy =P Haha. Money I pay, so don't have to worrie =) Just have to spend that time and patience to build it =D Ya as expected, looking at all those nice books and cds, temptations! Can't resist them la. Bought almost all of those that I liked. Broke le! Haha. One nice book is about this title, Chocolate for a Woman's Heart. This is quite a interesting novel. 77 stories of Love, kindness and compassion and the power of unconditional love. I will be taking these few days to read it up ba. Guess I will bring it over to cafe later. heh. Also a nice comic about KH too, oh my. I can't do without KH now la. Guess my world is filled up with those disney characters now. 1 more nice one is the music cd I bought! It's Jay Chou new album! Wooo, super nice la his songs. Last time I super hate him, now I super like him =x He's so cool man, love his voice. Spent around $60 in total. Oh goddess, first time spent so much money in a day la. Didn't even have money to eat dinner HAHA. =.= went home eat bread la... lol. When did I become such a spendthrift =.=.. Nvm, was quite fun anyways. Bought lots of things I like and want. So doesn't matters anymore. Now need to earn money to buy more things! =x
Here's a wishlist for me!
S.H.E Forever New Album. --> Main Pirority. ($15.80) Got Free Posters! Woo! Hebe =x
1000 KH Jigsaw Puzzle. --> Expensive =.= ($51.40)
All Of The Comics Regarding KH, or KH2. ($??.??) Still not sure how many books are there.
Why Are You Here, Cafe. --> It's a book regarding life. ($15.80)
A New Adidas Bag. --> I long for one. ($??.??) lol, not sure pricing yet.
A New Pair Of Adidas Shoes. --> Also wait very long le. ($100+) lol, abit crazy but I like =D
That's all ba, if I continue writing all of them, guess I don't have a tomorrow le. Haha. Too many la. All these are the main pirorities for now. Guess before I can get them, I need to work really hard ya. These are my short term goals! I have to make it no matter what! I Will, I Promise and I Will! =)
Signing Off, RoXaS. (=^ . ^=)
-Simple And Clean- Journal 7: Outside These Walls, Breaking Down Those Walls.
Hey! Ahh, since what Michelle had stated, I think I would not go so naggy on this blog anymore. Just some short journals over here. I will keep my journal short and simple ba, since I prefer simple things.
Had a very very good day at Church yesterday. Thanks everybody. Was really wonderful. The service at 9am was a very good one. About my title. Outside These Walls. To keep it short, I would just emphasize on the main point is that Pre-Beliefers has 3 types of circumstances that they need to conquer before they can become True Beliefers. Which is Fear, Pressure and Hostilitly. These are physical walls of separation to prevent Pre-Beliefers from placing thier trust and faith on God. We need to break down these walls so as to entrust all the faith in Him. Heard from Pastor Kenny that to become a True Beliefer, we need to have 7 personal touches and teaching 3 christian gospels. To really entrust our full attention on Jesus, we have to do that. I am trying my best. Really. I believe one day, these walls will be
Torn apart, I will then
Build bridges and
Pastor the community. I also heard that 2 more weeks, we will be having a Community Transformation as in going to home visits to bless the residents. Wow, this is great. Hope to be involved in it. After the whole service, we had a very nice song which is regarding Outside These Walls. Oh man, I defiantely love this song! Was so touching and smoothing. The lyrics goes like this,
-Withing these walls we join our hearts;
We come together to be set apart.
But worshipping on Sunday
is just a way to hide,
If we can't face on Monday the dying world outside.
Do the crying know we care?
Do the lonely find us there?
Are we so involved we do not hear them call?
Everywhere men are searching
They're wondering why they're hurting.
Do they see the love of Jesus at all,
outside these walls?
Within our hearts He planted a seed,
A love we can count on
For everything we need.
But safe in our seclusion,
how can we grow?
When outside these walls are fields we need to sow?
Lord, through our lives
please let others see
Your love reflecting through us perfectly.
And let the crying know we care,
Let the lonely find us there.
Don't be so involved we do not hear them call.
Everywhere men are searching,
They're wondering why they're hurting.
Let them see the love of Jesus in our song
outside these walls.
Great song right? I myself think it is. Because if you really read the words carefully and understand what it is saying about, you will really understand the life of what we are going through now. Thank You God for giving me this chance to attend this sermon for as I have learn many things through this. After that, we had CG meeting at causeway point. Went to Mos Burger to eat our lunch and to Swensens for ice-cream! Yeah! And then, we had open sunday. Was really fun, great job for the CG organizers. Lots of fun and exciting games we had there. After that, I went for basketball games, one touch rugby and jogging. Was really tiring, but was refreshing too =) Thanks guys.
After everything ended, ahh so fast. But there isn't any banquet that lasts forever right. Haha. Frankie left without even saying anything lah. I was calling for him, but he didn't care, or maybe he didn't heard me. "Maybe I was just an outsider afterall." Ah whatever. But was glad he did not took me away with him. Maybe was God who had all this planned. I believe it was. Because, I met Caleb, Benn, Shun Bin, Mervin and Thomas. And they all ask me to go dinner with them. So I agreed since Frankie didn't bid goodbye at all. But all the sadness just rid of by itself when I had dinner with them. The fun, laughters and the things we talked about. Oh God, Thanks guys... Really Thanks Alot... We talked about alot of stuffs, mostly craps though. Haha, about school life especially. Those naughty days we spent at our secondary school. eg, throwing wet tissues on the ceilings of the toilets. HAHA. That was fun huh. Really had a good laugh when with you guys. I haven't had such a good laugh since after O levels. Really, you guys made my day yesterday.
Also, I wanna specially thanks Caleb for telling me something he had always wanted to tell me. He said, "I am very encouraged and supportive of your presences in coming to Church." Really. He told me that, though many people keep telling me that too. I don't know why but I really felt a sense of closeness towards them. It's as though I knew them long time ago, back then. After that, we all took flight and went home. Was sitting MRT with Benn and Mervin, and then we were talking halfway, and something rang my phone. Was an Sms. Benn and Mervin both recieved an sms at the same time too. Guess who it was? Haha. It was Caleb! So sweet man this guy. He sent us each an sms, though it was the same msg, but it said "though we were in the same church, but we seldom talked ya. Thanks God for the fellowship tonight." It was pleasing to hear that. So, Benn wanted us to read the Sms one word at a time see whether it was the same msg afterall. And we did. Haha. So Funny! We were laughing like mad in the MRT la. Hahahahaha. Then, we wanted to reply him a msg saying "Next time just send one person an Sms and after at the end say Show It To Everyone Else." Haha, so that he won't have to waste the sms sending to everyone yeah. Wasn't that a good idea? Hahahahaha. But honestly, you guys are great! Awesome is all I can say.
Thanks To You - John Angelina's Amen. That's all I want to say.Signing Off, RoXaS.
